back to writings

The Russell Conjugation

Emotive conjugation - or the Russell Conjugation – has been employed to comic effect by the writers of Yes, Minister (“That's one of those irregular verbs, isn't it? I give confidential security briefings. You leak. He has been charged under section 2a of the Official Secrets Act.”) and exemplified by Bertrand Russell (“I am firm. You are obstinate. He is a pig-headed fool.”) but its most sinister use is to elicit a negative emotional response rather than an objective position that the facts alone might warrant.

It supports a tendency to understate our own behaviours and those close to us, reserving much more critical or pejorative interpretations for third parties. Looking from the other end of the telescope, this does suggest that we see ourselves as behaving in not only a consistently reasonable way, but also a far more benevolent one than we demonstrate.

If we look for validation of this amongst those close to us, we will easily find it from our dogs. Their love displayed is enthusiastic and unconditional. What might the world be like if we behaved with as much generosity, tolerance, grace and humility as our dogs already seem to think we possess?

Pay it forward

As I passed a woman on the stairs in the Sydney CBD a few weeks ago, she said softly “those colours look great on you” and kept walking.

Wow.

What a lift that gave me for the rest of the day.

It made me consider the many times I’d thought that about someone but said nothing.

Why? We do tend to keep to ourselves in public spaces. Saying random things to strangers can be awkward, intrusive or unwelcome. In a gender context, comments on appearance are fraught. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be generous, in a tactful and appropriate way, with people you come across both in person and online.

Keep the balance

Everyone recognises that feedback is great. Feedback is essential: a gift, even. But we do seem to receive a lot more feedback directed at addressing a deficiency. If we’re lucky, we get the “obstinate” classification rather than the “pig-headed fool” one, nevertheless it’s hardly motivating.

Constructive feedback is critical to growth. Positive recognition has a powerful effect. A simple “great work!” or “good on you” is not enough. It is far more valuable when related to attributes or actions, with information about why it was good, and the effect it had on the recipient or observers.

Contrary to the command and control management ethos, colleagues and team members don’t slack off when they’re treated with kindness. They act, as most human beings do, with gratitude and reciprocity. When we do need to give less palatable feedback, a shared history of genuine support can help the message to be given and received with sensitivity.

Give it a try

Challenge yourself to a day of behaving as the person your dog thinks you are. Let a driver in front of you in traffic. If someone does the same for you, wave your thanks. Assume goodwill on social media. Not many people set out to ruin your day, so don’t make that your default setting.

Be a giver, not a taker. Write a recommendation or make an introduction that you know will be helpful. Tell a friend how much they mean to you. Give a colleague feedback after a presentation.

If you think it, say it, but not entirely without a filter. Make sure it’s genuine and appropriate to the circumstances. You don’t know - until you try - how much of a positive impact you can have on both yourself and the other person.

Rewrite the definition

Emotive conjugation is widely used by trolls to generate a negative bias driven by an emotional response. For all of us who are not trolls, it’s time to reframe emotive conjugation and turn it into a force for generosity (positive feedback), tolerance (don’t rush to judge) and humility (“I am effective. You have talent. She is an inspirational leader.”)

Not only will you further impress your dog; your cat may even raise an eyebrow.